An attempt at creating some amusing verses inspired by recent posts (May 2026) made by the esteemed British poet and humorist Henry Normal on his Facebook page
Starved for Love
(Parts I. and II.)
I.
(The Starving Artist) Poet:
“I love you more than meat pie
Slathered with mushy peas
In fact I’m so besotted
You’ve got me on my knees
I love you more than deep fried cod
E’en wrapped in old newsprint with salted chips
Indeed I would forgo this Friday treat
For just one kiss from your dear lips
I love you more than juicy bangers
And a pile of mash enriched with butter
I’d even eschew a boat of onion gravy
For one kind word your pretty mouth might utter
I love you more than Sunday roast
Topped with a perfect golden Yorkshire pud
And I’d starve without complaint till next weekend
My passion for you makes me feel so good
I love you more than Crepe Suzette
Or any offering from the dessert-cart
No mundane cake or pudding can compare
With the sweet love for you that fills my heart
Bring me no coffee and no chocolate mints
Tempt me not with water biscuits and fine cheese
For I love you so completely, waitress dear
I simply feel no desire for these!”
Waitress:
“Well, sir, if you’re not going to order anything,
then we need the table for the next customers,
thank you.”
II.
(Would-be) Poet:
“Jilted: my love was unrequited
I see now that I was benighted
Ignorant and in the dark
Never realising I had not met the mark
With the troth that I had plighted
It seems to me my sundered heart
Almost refuses to play its given part
Its funereal rhythm is so steeped in sorrow
Perhaps it may yet fail to beat tomorrow
But should I live, is this how I must suffer for my art?
Too well I now know folly, inspired by Cupid’s call
And how easy it seems that it has been to fall
From the exalted heights of love’s perfection
To the dark, deep, lonely valley of rejection
Mayhap I’ll have some chips (to take-away) after all!
